i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
