Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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