Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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