Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
