How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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