i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
