susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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