it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
