I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize