Nicole vs. Life
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
