i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
