sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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