singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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