Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
