It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
