In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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