I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
