I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
false alarm. still invincible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
