Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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