I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
whose parrot is this?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
