you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
