My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
