mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
