it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
