I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
