he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize