Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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