no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
