Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize