when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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