i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
