just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
