you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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