we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
