atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
