I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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