I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
