Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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