I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
