at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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