so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
