quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
