Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
