yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
