Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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