Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
