Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
