i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
