he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
