I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
