Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
