I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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