i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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