She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
