His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
