Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Two words: blizzard sex
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
