Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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