we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
