Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i will never coherently bang her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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