I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I need to calm my uterus...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
